The Dog Days of Summer
by daf9
Summary: Chapter 5 Final chapter. The mystery of the limericks is solved.
1. Default Chapter

****

Summary: August 2003. The show is on filming hiatus and I'm taking an unscheduled break due to the power outage here in the Northeastern US so I decided to play with my favorite television characters. If I don't think better of it in the meantime, I'll transfer this to the computer and post it once the power comes back. Takes place after the great blackout of 2003. To say anything more would reveal the ending (which I may or may not have written yet; I'm not revealing that either). Something about putting words on paper rather than a computer screen seems to inspire me to write in prose. Not necessarily a good thing but we'll try this and see what y'all think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1

__

I wouldn't put it past him

It's no longer black!

The power is back!

Still it would be a shame

If there was no one to blame

Let's see you lay THIS on Iraq!!

Bobby Goren shook his head and prepared to transfer the single piece of paper and its accompanying envelope to a manila folder.

"Anything interesting, Bobby?"

"No, not really, Eames. Over the last few weeks, one of New York's 'finer' citizens has been sending me these really bad limericks. This is just the latest." Bobby glanced over at his partner who looked up in response to his words. He didn't quite catch the expression that quickly passed over her face.

"Shouldn't you be getting that dusted for prints or something?" Alex got up from her desk and walked over to stand behind Bobby.

Bobby shrugged. " I did have the first one dusted. Traces of powder from latex gloves but no prints. Since then, I haven't bothered. It's not like there's a obvious threat here. Or if there is, I can't see it. Faint traces of a woman's perfume and the writing is apparently feminine but that's about all I can tell. Oh, and the manner in which certain words are rhymed indicate the writer is probably from the Midwest. But the postmarks are local so she's either got a friend in the city to mail these for her or more likely, she relocated here at some point. The stationery she uses comes from a local arts & crafts shop."

Alex laughed. "Can't help yourself, can you Bobby?" She proceeded to take the paper and read its contents. "You don't think this person might be claiming responsibility for last week's blackout?"

He laughed. "Unlikely, Eames. After all everyone from the President to the local city councilors to the guy who runs the bodega where I get my morning coffee have been insisting it was due to an equipment failure, most likely in Michigan. Besides none of the other limericks mentioned the power failure. It's curious though most of them have made references to the President. This one, for example refers to President Bush's efforts to justify the bombing of Iraq, implying that if he could, Bush would blame the blackout on terrorists. Clumsy, but I suppose the writer suffers from a limited vocabulary." He looked up as Alex made a noise. She shook her head, indicating he should continue. "Nothing threatening in any of them, but as you can see" indicating the folder, "I've been saving them."

Alex held out her hand. "Let me take a look. You may be inferring something that the writer didn't intend to imply." At his questioning look Alex continued "What? Just because I let YOU point it out to that suspect in the botox case, doesn't mean I didn't know the difference between imply and infer." She grinned. "Back to these limericks. Maybe it's a "girl thing" and I can make something out of them."

Instead of handing her the folder, Bobby extracted a single piece of paper and passed it to Alex, saying "this was the first one. It arrived almost exactly six weeks ago."


	2. No guarantees

Chapter 2

****

Summary: Somebody's sending Bobby limericks. Is it daf9? She's female, has time on her hands AND has friends in NYC

__

Wealth and an Ivy league education are no guarantee

What's all this beer

Doing in here?

Couldn't he get it right?

It's not PINTS of light

But 'POINTS of light" to which his father adhered.

Alex looked perplexed. "I don't get it Bobby. Is this supposed to funny?"

"I think it's meant to be a reference to an incident involving the current President's daughters and underage drinking that occurred some years ago. The first President Bush made a speech back during the '88 presidential campaign which referred to the American dream and "a thousand points of light". Bobby smiled " It was one of my Dad's all time favorite political "soundbites". Apparently not just his, either. He said the image was so popular that Bush recycled it several times during that Presidential campaign."

Alex returned the smile. " Poor Bobby! Always trying to come up with some excuse for knowing the most obscure trivia. Weren't you living in Germany in 1988? However, since you've mentioned your Dad's love affair with Bush the First before, I'll let you off the hook on this one. But I still don't get it. What's it supposed to mean? And why would the writer send it to YOU?"

Struggling to control a grin, Bobby retrieved the paper and started to return it to his folder. Paper still in hand, he paused. " I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. Perhaps the author is trying to imply that some of President Bush's more controversial decisions while in office have been made because he's started drinking again. Although there is certainly nothing in the press to indicate that is the case. And why the reference to light beer, in particular? I can't believe ANYONE would have a preference for light beer over something with a higher alcoholic content. You can't get a decent buzz on with light beer. Hell! Even those idiot friends of mine who mistakenly ordered six cases of Miller lite for their keg party last summer did nothing but complain that the stuff was good for nothing more than taking up space in the refrigerator. I think I told you already how they argued that for the good of humanity we should destroy the stuff rather than return it to the brewery? I know a lot of people don't like President Bush but surely no one thinks him THAT much of an idiot! So why should" Bobby's voice trailed off.

Alex looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue but Bobby said nothing.

Finally, he put the poem back in the folder and pulled out another. "See what you make of this one. It came about three and a half weeks ago."


	3. Enjoying the view

Chapter 3

****

Summary: Somebody's sending Bobby limericks. It COULD be daf9 you know. After all she is old enough to remember the first President Bush

__

Being shackled doesn't mean you can't enjoy the view

If given a push

She'd admit Goren's tush

Sends her senses to reeling

And is far more appealing

Than that of George Walker Bush

Alex took as step back and stared critically at the back of Goren's chair pretending to assess the "tush" in question. Bobby refused to look at her but he could feel his ears turning red. 

"I don't know, Bobby. Nothing special about it that I can see! But "shackled" sounds like the writer of this little poem may be serving time somewhere or have some connection to the justice system. It also sounds like she must have met you or at least seen you at some point and has a bit of a "crush". I don't suppose Nicole? Alex didn't complete her sentence. 

"I don't think so Alex. For one thing Nicole isn't from the Midwest. And while she is certainly clever enough to 'fake it' I think she would consider writing limericks to be far too demeaning. After all she successfully impersonated a professor of English literature for several years. Besides, I don't think 'shackled' necessarily refers to imprisonment. It may be a reference to being married. And the "her" may refer not to the writer herself but to the President's wife, Laura. I think -"

Alex interrupted "Oh, of course! The President and his wife were at that reception the mayor gave several months ago. And you were there!"

Bobby nodded in agreement. "Yes, as you should know, since you were there with me. Looking for Carver, as I recall. And although I remember getting quite close to Mrs. Bush at one point, I certainly don't remember her looking at me! And I still don't see any way the author of thisletter could have known that the First Lady might have even had an opportunity to see me, unless she was present as well. Unfortunately there were well over 500 people at that party. Doesn't narrow the suspects down much does it?"

Alex gave Bobby another look. "Well, if we assume that sentiments expressed reflect those of the author herself, we can restrict the list of potential perps to those who find you attractive enough to stare at your backside. Of course, if the graffiti in the ladies room is to be believed, that probably doesn't narrow it down at all as far as the female attendees are concerned. And from what I've been told, Goren-centric graffiti isn't restricted to the WOMEN'S washroom either. Maybe the female perfume is meant to throw you off the scent?"

Bobby laughed at Alex's play on words and blushed again. To avoid looking at her, he bent his head down and made a badly disguised pretense of having to look carefully through the contents of his folder for the next poem. Handing it to her he mumbled "What do you make of this one? It was delivered by FedEx a few days ago."


	4. Strange bedfellows

Chapter 4

****

Summary: I'm almost done. Prose is hard and I'm about as subtle as a sledgehammer. 

__

Strange Bedfellows

Some don't think it smart

To commit mind and heart

When coherent speech

Seems just out of reach

His views often set him apart

By the manner in which she looked at him, Bobby knew Alex was waiting for him to comment. "Can't you see the Bush theme in this one? The author is chiding the President's supporters for approving of a politician who is he's renowned for his incoherent speeches and controversial views. Even the title. Don't you remember that just last week I was explaining to you the origins of the phrase "politics makes strange bedfellows?" 

Alex shrugged. " But I still don't see where this is going? What is the purpose of all these notes? Why would someone be drawing deliberate connections between you and the President?" She smiled sweetly. "Why, with the exception of your deliberately ambiguous comments on abortion that you made only when I pushed you on the matter, I don't think I've ever heard you make a SINGLE political statement!" Seeing Bobby's frown she continued "Now, don't go inferring anything from that! As a government employee, I think it shows admirable restraint, keeping your political opinions to yourself".

Suspicious that Alex was making fun of him, Bobby glared at her for a minute before saying anything. After she returned his gaze with nothing more than a bland smile, he gave up and allowed his face to resume its former cheerful expression. With just a hint of exasperation in his voice he replied "Well, that's the last of them; so far anyway. As I keep telling you Eames, I have NO idea why this is happening to me! All I can say is that it's beginning to bother me. I find myself getting anxious every time the mail arrives. Sometimes, I'm fearful there will be a new post containing some inexplicable clue hinting at something that I can't quite decipher. At other times I'm hopeful that the next one will explain everything so I can dismiss the whole bizarre experience and get back to my life!"

Alex gazed on her partner sympathetically. Retreating back to her desk she commented "I can see how something like this would be very frustrating, especially for someone like you who likes to analyze and understand everything. Hopefully, the next letter will put you out of your misery."

Bobby just looked at her, his expression making it obvious that his own expectations were far less positive.


	5. Love and War

Final chapter. I hate to leave things unfinished.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

__

All's fair in love and war

Now I've got your attention

I'd just like to mention

With that b!tch safe in jail

And a whale just a whale

I'm reverting to romantic convention!

"Look at this Eames!"

The sound of a large male hand slamming a piece of paper on her desk made Alex start, unbalancing her chair.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." Bobby's voice quieted considerably as he reached out to return Alex and her chair to an upright position. "It's another of these damn limericks!"

Alex looked up and replied "Why BobbyI thought you enjoyed puzzles?"

Bobby ran his hand roughly through his hair. "I do. But now I'm confused. I don't see the George Bush connection here. This one seems to be a reference to Nicole Wallace."

Turning back to face her desk so Bobby couldn't see her expression, Alex waited a moment to reply. She didn't want him to hear the laughter in her voice. "Maybe you misread the other clues?"

Bobby shook his head. "I don't see how Alex!".

"Well , lets look at your clues again. Let me see if I remember. The first limerick referred to pints of lite beer and a speech by the first President Bush. Perhaps it was intended as a reference to someone other than the President's son who had HEARD about the President's speech. Maybe someone who felt strongly about lite beer.

Bobby protested "But Alex, that could be any one of a number of people. That could be ME!"

Alex ignored Bobby's interruption. "As I recall your second limerick made reference to a favorable comparison between your "tush" and that of the President's. It seems to me that could be a clue that the writer of the limerick had the opportunity to compare you; side by side as it were. Someone who was at the mayor's reception, for example. Like we were. And of course -"

Once again Bobby broke in "Don't forget the reference to being shackled - that HAD to be a reference to the President's wife?"

"Remember we also discussed the possibility it was a reference to someone with a connection to the justice system. Or maybe Bobby it was a reference to someone who might be considered to be shackled to YOU in a non-romantic way like a coworker might be?" Alex suggested. When Bobby failed to respond she continued." Wasn't the next one titled 'Strange Bedfellows' which you took to be a political reference?" Bobby nodded. "But lots of couples are also considered 'strange bedfellows'. Men and women who apparently have very little in common but are obviously attracted to one another. Maybe you should consider someone in your life who might fit that description?"

Bobby was looking more perplexed with each comment. Alex could almost see the ideas and emotions racing across his face.

Finally he looked up at her. "Uh Alextaking the clues THAT way, it almost seems like YOU sent those limericks? That YOU were trying to get my attention to tell me" Bobby blushed remembering the last limerick and its reference to love. He finally forced himself to look Alex in the face, managing to look both embarrassed and hopeful at the same time. 

Seeing his expression, Alex laughed. "Bobby, you aren't an easy man to deliver a message to sometimes. I knew that wearing short skirts or low cut blouses wouldn't cut it with you! But I had forgotten that while you are amazingly perceptive when it comes to other people, you can be remarkably obtuse when it comes to things dealing with yourself."

They just stared at each other for a moment. Bobby felt he should do something but he wasn't sure exactly what. And something was still nagging at him. Suddenly he remembered. "Hey, wait a minute. What about that second to last limerick? The one about Iraq? That had NOTHING to do with me. It wasn't a fair clue!" His voice fairly rang with accusation.

Standing and drawing herself to her full height Alex reached up to place her hands behind Bobby's neck and tugged. "Sometimes, Bobby a limerick is just a limerick." As his lips drew nearer she added "Are you complaining?".

Naturally, he ignored her comment.


End file.
